Beer and Champagne

Title: The Only Thing That Counts
Characters: Peter, Sirius, Remus and James
Summary: For Peter, survival is the only thing that counts.
Prompt: "When it comes to controlling human beings, there is no better instrument than lies. Because you see, humans live by beliefs. And beliefs can be manipulated. The power to manipulate beliefs is the only thing that counts." -- Michael Ende at hp_darkfest, here
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters herein are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No copyright infringement is intended.

HUGE thanks to my beta, sabethea, who went way beyond the call of duty with this story. It really wouldn't have happened without her.

The Only Thing That Counts

Number 100!

Title: Big Boys' Toys
Characters: Gideon Prewett, Charlie and Hugo Weasley
Rating: R
Summary: Boys will have their toys
Warnings: No chan. Just curious boys and shameless uncles.
Kinks chosen: Anal Plugs at daily_deviant, here
Word Count: ~2,800
Author's notes: Millions of thanks to minnow53 for the ear plug idea. Only you could come up with this and I love it! And many, many thanks to fluffyllama for betaing this despite a cold.

Big Boys' Toys

Title: A Woman of Talent
Pairing: Bill/Rosmerta, previous Arthur/Rosmerta
Rating: R
Word Count: ~3,400
Warnings: Cross-gen, but Bill is eighteen.
Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters herein are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No copyright infringement is intended.
Summary: Like father, like son; the Weasleys meet a certain woman of talent, but life never repeats itself.
Author's Notes: Thank heavens for my betas, fluffyllama and iamisaac.

Written for the 2008 hp_summersmut; the originals are here (IJ) and here (LJ)

A Woman of Talent

Title: When You Whiff Upon a Star
Characters: Oliver/Charlie; Charlie/Tonks
Rating: R
Summary: Oliver has a keepsake from his hero that he treasures – and uses for his nefarious purposes. Until one day the unlikeliest of heroes catches him in the act.
Warnings: Use and abuse of a stinky, sweaty sweatshirt. I think that's it. There's no intercourse between anyone under 18, but there is a lot of under-18 solo wanking. I think that under-18 boys are masters at that, anyway, and, since they're doing it solo, I don't think it qualifies as chan. Please correct me if I'm wrong.
Kinks chosen: Relics at daily_deviant, here
Word Count: ~3,700
Author's notes: Thanks to sabethea/iamisaac for the beta-at-the-last-minute.

Apologies for the horrible pun in the title. We all know where the idea came from, no? In case someone has never seen Pinocchio, well, it comes from there.


When You Whiff Upon A Star

Title: Someone to Lean on
Rating: R
Pairing/Characters: Charlie/Tonks
Summary: A friend is the person who's there for you when you need him.
Prompt: Hurt/comfort, with sex whilst his partner is crying/upset (but not about the sex, obviously) , at LJ's Helmet_fest2008, here
Word Count: ~1,370
Disclaimer: This is a work of fanfiction set in the Harry Potter universe – all recognizable characters and settings are the property of J. K. Rowling and her associates. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is made from this work. Please observe your local laws with regards to the age-limit and content of this work.
A/N: Many thanks to my beta, iamisaac

Someone to Lean on

Title: Check Mate
Rating: R
Pairing/Characters: Alphard Black and Ignatius Prewett
Summary: Alphard is just out of Hogwarts and meets his cousin Lucretia’s fiance, Ignatius Prewett, who teaches him a few things about chess – and other matters.
Prompt: 28) How the chess set came into the family (it was from one of the grandfathers) for the Obscure Character Challenge at LJ's weasley_esque.
Word Count: ~3,300
Disclaimer: This is a work of fanfiction set in the Harry Potter universe – all recognizable characters and settings are the property of J. K. Rowling and her associates. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is made from this work. Please observe your local laws with regards to the age-limit and content of this work.
Author's Note: I hope that the Black Family Tree, which I used as reference, contains a few typos – otherwise, shame on you, JK, and your blatant use of chan. According to the tree, Pollux was thirteen when he sired Walburga.

Thanks to my beta, iamisaac

Check Mate

A wee drabble for snegurochka_lee's Least Favorite Pairing Challenge. I wasn't going to participate because, as my dear flist knows, my Most Disliked Character is Snape and I refuse to write him in a pairing (*tries to forget Snape/Giant Squid*

So I went for my third choice, the second being Remus/Tonks, but R/T is a pairing I try to ignore. Ron/Hermione is a far third, that's for sure, since this is the second drabble I write about them. So I cheated a little.

Something in the Way He Moves"

Title: Through the Looking Glass
Rating: NC-17
Pairing(s): Percy/Oliver
Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters herein are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No copyright infringement is intended. The title belongs to Lewis Carroll.
Summary: Percy's new office at WWW is equipped with a one-way mirror; he doesn't pay too much attention to it, until the day a special customer comes in to try something new.
Warnings: Voyeurism in a grand scale and abuse of innocent leather artifacts.
Author's Notes: Set after the final battle. Many thanks to my beta, fluffyllama.

Written for the 2008 weasley_fest. The original is here

Through the Looking Glass

Gacked from emiime

( I wish! )

Title: My Brother's Keeper
Rating: R
Word Count: 4,650
Pairing/Characters: Percy/Oliver, Fred/Oliver.
Summary: After the war, Percy muses about life, changes careers and finds out a few unexpected things about himself and his brother.
Disclaimers: All Harry Potter characters herein are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No copyright infringement is intended.
Notes: Canon character death. Much love and thanks to my betas, onehundredmoons and fluffyllama.

Written for the 2008 percy_ficathon; the original is here

My Brother's Keeper

Title: Spay and Neuter
Characters: Padfoot, Sirius and Remus
Rating: R
Summary: Padfoot's on the loose, and the RSPCA is hot on his tails.
Warnings: Written for the June edition of daily_deviant. The kink was castration, which means that someone lost the family jewels.
Word Count: ~2,400
Author's notes: A lay-low-at-Lupin's fic. It's been a while since I saw one of those. They were all the rage until 2005, weren't they?

Thanks to fluffyllama for the beta. RSPCA stands for Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.

Spay and Neuter

Title: Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus
Rating: NC-17
Pairing(s): Kingsley/Charlie
Summary: Never tickle a sleeping dragon – or a sleeping lynx, for that matter.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fanfiction set in the Harry Potter universe – all recognisable characters and settings are the property of J. K. Rowling and her associates. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is made from this work. Please observe your local laws with regards to the age-limit and content of this work.
Warning(s): Mention of rimming
Word Count: ~2,200
Author's Notes: Set during a sliver of time, between the battle at the Ministry and Kingsley's assignment to the "other" Minister. Written for the 2008 edition of hp_rarities; the original is here

Thank you very much to my betas, onehundredmoons and fluffyllama


Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus

Title: The Fine Art of Broom Polishing
Characters: Kingsley Shacklebolt, Oliver Wood
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Percy Weasley is on a temporary assignment as Minister Shacklebolt's assistant, and he wants nothing more than make the position permanent.
Warning(s): None
Word Count: ~2,200
Disclaimer: This is a work of fanfiction set in the Harry Potter universe – all recognisable characters and settings are the property of J. K. Rowling and her associates. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is made from this work.
Author's Notes: Thank you, onehundredmoons and fluffyllama, for your help with this fic.

Written for the 2008 edition of hp_wankfestfor the prompts Location: Minister of Magic's Office and Object: Broom Polishing Kit. The original is here



The Fine Art of Broom Polishing

Title: Maduro Split
Pairing: Percy Weasley/Kingsley Shacklebolt
Rating: NC-17
Summary: After a few years abroad, Florean Fortescue returns to Diagon Alley with some creative ideas for ice-cream. One of them, especially, catches Minister Shacklebolt's fancy and Percy Weasley's eye.
Warning(s): Abuse of a poor, innocent fruit.
Word Count: ~2,100
Disclaimer: This is a work of fanfiction set in the Harry Potter universe – all recognisable characters and settings are the property of J. K. Rowling and her associates. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is made from this work.
Author's Notes: Maduro, meaning 'ripe' in Spanish, is also a delicacy of Latin Caribbean cuisine. Delicious, served as a side dish, it is simply fried plantain, which is a type of banana. For the Maduro to be at its best, soft, sweet and succulent, the plantain must be very ripe, its peel being totally black. The darker the peel, the more delicious the resulting Maduro.

And a million apologies for the blatant use of a certain movie line.

Many thanks to my two wonderful betas, onehundredmoons and fluffyllama, who are probably craving ice cream now.

Written for the 2008 edition of hp_wankfest; the location was Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor and the object was a fruit or vegetable. The original is here

Maduro Split

Title: Winter Snapshots
Author: Lee West (westwardlee)
Word Count: 200
Characters: Sirius, Remus, Peter, James
Challenge: The Pretty Picture
Rating: PG-13

Winter Snapshots

Title: Some Enchanted Evening
Rating: R
Word Count: ~3,000
Pairing/Characters: Tobias Snape and Eileen Prince.
Summary: Some enchanted evening you may see a stranger across a crowded room, and you'll know even then that somewhere you'll see him again and again. Once you've found him, never let him go.
Disclaimers: (1) All Harry Potter characters herein are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No copyright infringement is intended. (2) The title and the summary are the property of Rodgers and Hammerstein.
Notes: Some Enchanted Evening is from Rodgers and Hammerstein's musical South Pacific. A wonderful rendition of the song by Cesare Siepi can be found here. The lyrics are here. I changed the pronouns on purpose.

Thanks to onehundredmoons and alphatauri3791 for the brainstorming and getting me out of a hot spot, and to onehundredmoons and fluffyllama for betaing.

Written for the 2008 hp_beholder, here

Some Enchanted Evening

Title: The Power of Tools
Characters: Arthur, and Molly in absentia
Rating: R
Summary: Arthur is doing research work in Muggle London and finds out something interesting about the power of Muggle tools.
Warnings: It seems a recurrent warning whenever I write Arthur and Molly: don't try this at home, kids.
Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters herein are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No copyright infringement is intended.
Word Count: ~3,100
Author's notes: The things I put my betas through...they deserve much more than thanks. Thanks again, onehundredmoons and lyras for all your help. Written for the April 2008 daily_deviant's kink power tools, here.

The Power of Tools

Title: Heaven Can Wait
Characters/Pairings: Sirius/Remus, Remus/Tonks, ?/Tonks
Rating: R
Summary: Heaven is the place where you are at your happiest.
Word Count: ~3,500
Warning: Character deaths, canon and non.
Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters herein are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No copyright infringement is intended.
A/N: Written for LJ's Full Moon Circle. Extra Round Prompt 4: R/S meet in the afterlife, here

Many thanks to my betas, onehundredmoons and lyras.

Heaven Can Wait

Title: The Plea Bargain
Rating: NC-17
Pairing(s): Percy/Lucius, Lucius/Narcissa
Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters herein are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No copyright infringement is intended.
Summary: Percy is put in charge of Lucius's plea bargain as a witness for the Wizengamot. But he gets much more than he bargained for. Written for the 2008 hp_springsmut; the original is here and here.
Warnings: Adultery, in a sense.
Word Count: ~6,100
Author's Notes: A million thanks to my betas, onehundredmoons and fluffyllama.

The Plea Bargain

I got my hp_springsmut fic - and it's an incredibly witty Viktor/Charlie. I lovelovelove what the author did here. For a good time, go read Wedding Nights.